Life on Florida’s West Coast

Remember Sock Monkeys?

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Back in the mid to late 70s, my mom made my sister and I sock monkeys. Sock monkey dolls have been around since the early 1900s and have always been made with Rockford Red Heel® socks, positioned so that those red heels become the mouths of the cute monkey toys. I loved mine to pieces, literally I think. I cannot find it anywhere and seem to recall the stuffing eventually coming out of the thing. Sadly, I am pretty sure I will not be able to talk mom into making me another.

The good news is that I do not have to depend on mom if I want to get my hands on another sock monkey. You can buy a vibrant, updated sock monkey at www.genuinemonkeez.com. They sent me a Colonial Candle Sock Monkey night light to try out and the entire family has fallen in love with the cute little guy. It’s a little bit of nostalgia in the face of the modern world. And, it’s been a great way to introduce my six-year-old daughter to the classic Sock Monkey of my youth. The updated versions come in red, blue, green and orange and really appeal more to kids my daughter’s age than the classic brown monkey dolls. Plus, this version has magnets in the hands and feet that can cling to one another or any metal surface. The options for fun are endless. The site offers clothing for the dolls and related accessories. That’s where you can find the link to buy one of the night lights like the one I have pictured in this review.

Vibrant, stained-glass style colors.

The warm glow of the light when it is switched on in a dark room.

Get Kids Excited About Reading

I just posted an article about being the kind of parent who gets involved and makes sure your children stay academically sharp over the summer. One of the points I made talked about sitting down with your kid and helping them to choose a book that engaged them on a personal level.

For some kids, reading is a chose. For others, it is a delightful escape. No matter, all children need to be reading as often as possible. The more they read, the better they get at reading. The better they are at reading, the more they read. It’s an unending circle.

More often than not, someone just needs to spend one-on-one time with a child and help them to find at least one book that captures their interest. I LOVE to read, but a textbook on Economics puts me to sleep and is often a struggle for me to comprehend on a satisfactory level. I’m no different from anyone else. If we are honestly interested in what we are reading, it is easier to read.

For some kids, the text that hooks them might be a sports magazine, or a book about robots, or a story about a princess. One genre I have found interests a wide variety of children of school age is fantasy adventure. It just seems to resonate with children, probably because children have more vivid imaginations by nature than their adult counterparts.

Here then, is one reading suggestion along these lines: Chin and the Magic Stones: Book One – Becoming Guardians by L.J. Salazar.

It has adventure chock full of riddles. It has an entire world of fantasy vivid with the potential of magic. It has lessons in the value of positive thinking, and it has a protagonist that kids can relate to in our modern world. If you think your child would find joy in the fantasy genre, this is a good first book to give them as they embark on their new reading journey.

Clocking in at a brief 108 pages, Chin and the Magic Stones will not overwhelm a struggling reader. And, it will leave more confident readers anxious for the next book in the series. It is generally suited for young readers from the ages of 7 to 11, but we all know that kids read at many different levels at any given age, so this is a book actually appropriate for a much broader age range.


Chin_and_the_magic_stones_book_1_lj_salazar

And, in the end, it all comes down to helping our children make reading choices that will not only engage and excite them, but also have a positive impact on their lives. Anyone who experiences Chin’s adventure along with him will come away with the benefits of some of the lessons he learns about believing in himself and understanding that positive thoughts lead to self esteem and the fulfillment of dreams. These are lessons we all need to learn – over and over.

Salazar is the father of an 11-year-old son, so you can rest assured that this story is coming from someone who understands the age group for which he is writing. On the surface, this is the exciting adventure of a boy and his dog (the extraordinary Eagle). On a deeper level, it’s a handbook for positive thought.

Take a look at Chin and the Magic Stones on Amazon’s website. You can pick it up for less than $10.

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My Daughter Got Her Ears Pierced

I was 23 when I finally got my ears pierced. I was just not interested before then and when my room-mate bought me a gorgeous pair of earrings for my 23rd birthday, I figured it was high time to get the holes to match the jewelry.

My daughter asked me if she could get her ears pierced back when he was about five-and-a-half. I sat her down and explained the process and what happens in the weeks and months following the piercing. She backed off.

This week she was sitting in the van with me, on the way home from school, and told me she had been thinking about the ear piercing and felt ready. She finally felt like the little bit it would hurt during the process was worth it. So, I called her father and got his opinion. He was all for it, and only asked that he be invited along. It was a little harder to work a trip to the mall into his work schedule, but we finally settled on an evening we both found workable.

She was excited right up to sitting in the chair. Then, she held the doll she had brought along, tensed up and cried softly. However, she did not flinch or back out. Sure, she cried when they inserted the earrings, especially when one of the girls had a problem getting the back onto her left ear. At one point she even gave off a little howl, but all in all she was brave.

A lot of my friends feel I allowed this at too young an age. Some of my other friends actually had their daughters’ ears pierced when they were infants. It is all a matter of opinion. I think if the child shows an interest and can take part in caring for the wounds as they heal, they are old enough. So far, Gigi has been better than me in remembering to clear her ears twice a day.

Pondering Motherhood

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. My daughter was sick for abut a week and then she faithfully passed her illness along to me. Of course, said illness mutated when it hit my system and was worse even than when my daughter had it. A stiff round of antibiotics for both of us seems to be clearing it up enough to go on with life. However, I worked myself through the illness all week and finally had to admit defeat yesterday at about 10:30 am. Gratefully, where I work that means half my day is already over, so I only had to take half a day’s sick leave. Being a mom means saving sick days to be home when my daughter is sick. I have to strike a balance.

I’ve been seeing messages for the last couple of days on Facebook from several of my friends about the death of someone I knew long ago. Back when I lived in Maryland, there was a family at my church who I spent a lot of time with. I babysat for the younger three of their four children often, helped them out around the house, and in return had a comfortable place to call home when I was weary of apartment living. Their youngest passed away this week at age 17.

I ache when I think about losing my own daughter. She is my heart. I do not think having four children takes even an ounce of the pain way for this family. One child, four children – losing your child is probably the hardest thing anyone has to go through. I know my divorce was emotionally the hardest thing I have encountered so far, but if something were to happen to my daughter it would be far worse.

Motherhood is indeed the most amazing thing to have ever happened to me. It bring out of me the best, and the worst. I am taught new lessons daily – by my daughter and by the world around me. I am forever learning, and rewarded over and over with boundless love. I did nothing to deserve my daughter’s love, except give birth to her. It’s so simple that it makes me cry some days.

Florida Divorces on the Rise

Like this is any surprise? 

Here are some stats from the National Center for Health Statistics:

  • 12,792 divorces in January-February 2006
  • 14,079 divorces in January-February 2007
  • 15,301 divorces in January-February 2008

Florida is a “no fault” state. You can file for divorce for any reason you like. You can wake up one morning, as one attorney explained to me, roll over and decide you do not like your husband’s hair. That is reason enough for Florida!

Initially, a no fault divorce was designed to protect battered wives. They abusive husbands could not refuse them a divorce and hold them in a marriage. Good for them, sincerely. However, for the rest of us it means if you have an impulsive spouse (as I did), there is no recourse. If they file, you have to legally reply or the courts will simply grant them everything they ask for in the filing. Sad, but true.

So, of course the divorce rate in Florida is going up. It’s cheaper and easier than getting married. There is no mandatory time for a legal separation, like in Virginia and other states. File those papers, hash it out, sign and go.

Why Praise Jolie and Pitt for Their Large Family?

So many people seem in awe of the fact that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie raise six children together – the three they adopted and the three they had naturally.

Me, I just roll my eyes? Why? Well, listen to this little bit of info:

“During a recent trip to New Orleans, the couple – who raise three adopted children, a biological two-year-old daughter and three-month-old twins together – originally flew out with four nannies but had to jet in an extra two after reportedly struggling to manage their large brood.”

Seriously? They need one nanny per child. I have friends with 5 and 6 children who do everything quite well without any help at all. In fact, I know casually one family who has 11 children and never use outside help. Even so, they have things well under control. It’s not impossible.

So, go ahead and send the Jolie-Pittsgift baskets to congratulate them on their stunning child rearing abilities if you must, but I will save my kudos for the day when they stop acting out the roles of privileged brats and run their won family without the help of hired hands.

Gun at a Clearwater Elementary School

I had head from a few friends that it was considered one of the better public elementary schools in the north end of the county. It’s not in a particularly bad neighborhood, and the stats show a lot of two-family homes feed the school. Even so, Friday was still a pretty frightening day for everyone at Leila G. Davis Elementary School in Clearwater, Florida.

A LOADED handgun was found in the backpack of a KINDERGARTEN student by a teacher’s assistant.

A loaded handgun in a kindergartner’s backpack.

Wow.

It turns out that the six-year-old found the loaded gun in his grandparents’ bedroom and brought the gun to school to show his friends.

So far, the word is that criminal charges will not be filed. Even so, the school district does have a policy that any child who possesses or exhibits a gun at school will be suspended and recommended for expulsion.

I know a lot of people might keep a loaded handgun in their bedside table, but that is one of those things you need to change once you have a child living in your home. I know when my daughter was born; guns in my hone were moved and stored differently. It seemed a like a no-brainer.

Isn’t there some sort of penalty for the grandparents who have the child living with htem? This seems like the logical thing to me.

I’m Wiped Out!

I have not worked outside the home five days a week in about eight years now. I’m absolutely, positively worn out. Being a stay-at-home mom to an infant and toddler tired me out, as well – but it was a different sort of tired.

Either way, this is a new chapter of my life, much anticipated, much appreciated, and just a little bit fraught with the unknown. My daughter will be in before and after school programs for the first time in her life and we will both be waking up around 5 a.m. Of course, the early wake up time will be a lot like when she was an infant, so I am not all that unprepared. ;)

She Wants to Be Hannah Montana

This afternoon I went into my daughter’s Kindergarten class to volunteer. Her teacher was introducing the October book box and had a lot of Halloween and autumn decorations out on a table. Halloween! October has crept right up on me and I suppose now it is finally time to give in and buy the costume my daughter has been haranguing me about.

Gigi wants to go as Hannah Montana this year. I’m still mentally mourning the fact that this is the first year she did not want to be a Disney princess. I dressed her as an angel for her first Halloween, but she has been a princess since her second Halloween. Not only was aI hoping to reuse one of the costumes in her dress-up chest, I also think I have been holding onto the innocence and youth of the princess obsession.

I broke down and bought a long, blonde wig last month for the Hannah Montana costume, and I have some funky tights and shorts to make up some of the other aspect of her costume. Gigi has a cute pair of old school black high-top Chucks, too. But, I want to consult some online Halloween Costume Stores to see if there isn’t anything cute I can add to the costume that I do not already have.

I have Gigi the weekend before Halloween as well as Halloween itself this year. My sister and my best friend and I will take our kids to one of the massive, annual Halloween community celebrations here in the south part of the county the weekend before. Hundreds of businesses set up in a gigantic loop and give out the coolest candy and freebies. The, Halloween night I will go up near where her Dad lives and meet up with some of my friends and go trick-or-treating in my old neighborhood. That way I can just drop her at her Dad’s afterwards for his weekend.

By the way, I skip the local Halloween stores in favor of shopping online. I have found that the prices and the selection are just unbeatable when I stick with online stores. Besides the better shopping selections, there are generally easy returns and free shipping available when you order a certain amount of merchandise. Why drive to the stores and spend my precious time going from shop to shop looking for the just he right items when I can do it all from my comfy computer chair?

Kids and Computer Addiction

The issue of addiction to computers in children was not something parents needed to really face when I was a child. Most households did not have a computer when I was a kid. And, if they did they did not have an internet connection. We got a little Apple 2c when I was in junior high. My dad did use a modem to connect to local bulletin boards about some of his hobbies, but that was it. I used the computer to type up papers and play silly little games like Lemonade Stand and Westward Ho! (the exclamation point is actually part of the game title).

Oh, how times have changed. Just take a look at this news item put out by the Associated Press:

PALM BAY, Fla. (AP) — Authorities say a Palm Bay teen chased his mother with a knife and beat his brother with a sugar cane because of a change to his computer privileges.

The 15-year-old boy was on the home computer Sunday when he discovered changes to the system made by his older brother. Police say the teen then threw several objects and picked up a knife and a stick of sugar cane.

The older brother and mother told police the teen pushed his mother several times while clutching the knife.

The teen was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and battery.

Information from: Florida Today, http://www.floridatoday.com

© 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Learn more about our Privacy Policy.

Wow. Just wow.

A child finds out his computer use has been limited and he is upset enough to go after his mother with a knife? I can see throwing a tantrum, or sulking. A knife, though? He went at his mother is a deadly weapon. Insane.

As a mother, I am 100% in favor of limiting both the time and the content of a child’s computer use. I allow my daughter an hour on the computer a couple times a week. She is limited to websites I have chosen (WebKinz, Starfill.com, ect.) and right now she accepts that. Of course, she is five. I know we will have to go at things a little different in the future. However, she will not have a computer in her room, she will not have unlimited internet privileges, and I will monitor her online activity.

When she moves out of the house, it’s up to her to do the right thing. Until then, I will guide her every step of the way so that she has some idea of what the right thing even is. The internet is a wonderful place. It is also a dangerous place. Anyone who thinks porn is difficult to access online is just plain wrong – not to mention tragically naive. I want to protect my daughter. I do not want her to be one of the millions of modern kids who in their supposedly tender years already have a hardened and backwards view of sexuality.

Too Young for a Cell Phone?

What is the right age to get a cell phone for your child?

That’s a question that will have 100 different answers if you ask 100 different parents.

I was faced with the first glimmer of reality in this issue Tuesday night as my sister and her husband presentd my nephew with a brand new cell phone for his 7th birthday. Seven. The kid is seven.

I held my breath, feeling what was coming at me next. I was right. My daughter, five-and-a-half, turned and asked me when is SHE getting a phone.

Ouch.

I had hoped that question would comes a few more years down the road. I am not a big fan of giving a young child a cell phone. I do eventually want her to have one of those basic units that can call out to a limited array of numbers and maybe even one with a way to block texting and internet. I have not actually given it all that much though, aside from hoping I would be able to deal with it later.

In the wake of all the local stories about back-to-school in the local papers is a whole lot of coverage about cell phones and kids. The stories talk about six and seven year old kids getting phones, kids texting all day, and the fact the cellular companies are spending more advertising money than ever before to target young children.

My dreams of getting Gigi a “kid” phone with like three buttons died when I saw a statistic that said 10% of 8-year-olds have a cell phone, by age 12 that statistic is 50%, and at the age of 15 a full 84% of kids have their own phone. The phones they what are BlackBerries, Apple iPhones and phones with full-size QWERTY keyboards and social networking software.

Studies show that parents do try to maintain some sense of control when they give out a phone, though. A good number of children start out with pre-paid phones so that parents can control the costs. About one-fifth of parents say they attach the achievement of a particular grade-point-average to the privilege of having a cell phone.

I’ve gone over in my head the fact that a cell phone can be a safety for my daughter. It is a good feeling to know she can call me when she needs to, just like I carry a cell phone to know I can make a call from the car if I break down on the road. I think about how much easier it would be to get in touch with her when she is at her dad’s house.

On the other hand, I did just fine in school without a phone. I used a pay-phone if I needed to call home. My teachers did not have phones in their classrooms, but these days all of the teachers do. If there really is an emergency at school, there are many ways for my child and the teachers to get in touch with me aside from my daughter having a cell phone. At the age of not-yet-six, I do not plan on her being out on her own outside of school anyway.

Goodbye Summer Vacation

For me, summer vacation is over. My ex husband and I each have two -2-week blocks of time during the summer with our daughter. I took my first block in West Virginia and Washington, DC to visit my dad. My second block comes to an end this after this weekend and we stayed near home.

Ideally, I would have planned a trip to Atlanta to see my daughter’s godparents, but the cost of gas and airlines tickets kept me away. I can always try and plan it around the next school break.

Kindergarten looms near. My daughter’s time in Pre-K was not as difficult for me, because I only had her in three hours a day, even though for part of the year I opted to leave her an additional three hours. Nonetheless, now she is starting in the public school system and I got her into one of the Fundamental schools here in the county. She is fortunate to have been accepted into the program. The Fundamental schools here historically perform higher on all standardized tests; they have 100% parent participation, a stricter dress/attendance/behavior policy; and automatic filtering into the Fundamental middle schools. This should be very good for my daughter.

In these next two weeks, I am going to do my best to try and obtain a teaching position. Unfortunately, all of the districts around here are cutting back on teachers. They have tighter budgets and fewer students. People are moving away from this area, due to the cost of living.

It’s over. My time with my little girl will forever be different now that she is in school and I will hopefully be working. No more stay at home mommy.

Dark Knight, Suitable for Children?

I went last night with a friend to see the Batman Dark Knight movie. I will skip over the basic synopsis, since you can find that almost everywhere. I will not dwell on the fact that Heath Ledger’s role at the Joker was indeed brilliant, as most critics are exclaiming (though I have to stop and wonder if it would be deemed Oscar-worthy if he were alive right now).

What I was to focus on is what seems to be an ongoing debate about whether this film is suitable for children.

There was an article on one of CNN’s blogs where author Audrey Irvine put forth her opinion that the film is not OK for young children. She complained that the theater was full of children that were talking throughout the movie, babies who cried, and the ongoing chatter of kids asking their parents questions about a film that was decidedly too sophisticated for a younger mind.

Readers basically blasted Irvine, reminding her that the film was rated PG-13, which means that any child under the age of 13 may attend with a parent. What those same readers overlooked is that Irvine was focused on the distraction the children caused in the theater. She reminded parents that a movie like Dark Knight is not appropriate for dropping off your pre-teens and that other moviegoers aren’t here to babysit your kids.

I agree with Irvine. The theater was packed shoulder to shoulder. Everyone was there after purchasing an expensive ticket, standing in line just to ensure a decent seat, and filled with anticipation over seeing the second film in the newest Batman franchise. Nobody was there to listen to a baby crying who should have been home in bed.

I understand the dilemma of the new parent. My daughter was an infant once, too. However, if I could not find a sitter, we just did not go out. That is one of the sacrificed you make as a parent. There is an entire season’s worth of films I missed.

I want to add to that, though. I do not even think it was just about children being a disruption in the movie theater. I think Dark Knight is way too complicated for kids under 13. And, although this is not necessarily a gory film, when Harvey Dent becomes Two Face, the imagery is startlingly realistic and in no appropriate for a young child.

Even a young teen may not be able to fully grasp the motivation of the Joker and Two Face. This film packs so much information into two-and-a-half hours that my head was nearly spinning. You have to do some thinking to keep up with the action. I would never have taken my 5-year-old to this movie. I would not have taken my 6-year-old nephew, either – even though he loves the super heroes. Dark Knight is just not a family film. My daughter was with her dad last night, so I got a rare evening out.

There is a LOT of violence. There are deaths of main characters, emotional scenes with children being held hostage, lovers having to say goodbye before one dies, and the very troubling mental state of the Joker. The themes are just too mature for children. You have to look PAST whether or not a film has fore or sex of language. Children can still be harrowed by things other than the obvious. Our children are only hours for a short time and it is our job to protect them and retain their innocence. It is unwise to expose them to some of the films many parents allow their children to watch.

To answer my initial question – is the firm Dark Knight suitable for children? – I would have to adamantly say that if your child is under the age of 13, keep them at home.

Label Everything

I’m not talking about the kind of compulsive labeling some people do in their kitchens. I don’t do that. I label files for my filing cabinet. I label the plastic storage bins out in the garage. Unfortunately, I did not label about 10 years worth of VHS tapes. That’s a mess to talk about some other time. You see, I’m not much of a label person.

However, my daughter is beginning kindergarten this fall! I can hardly believe it. She learned a lot in pre-kindergarten (a Florida thing) and she is ready to read. I know that some kids can read by her age. In fact, I was reading by her age. She just hasn’t been ready yet.

So, these two weeks that she is at her dad’s house for his summer block of time with her, I am labeling everything. I started with labeling the dresser drawers with the word for what goes in each drawer (shirts, pants, socks, etc.) and beside it I put a picture of the item. So, she has the word, a picture and the actual items.

I’ll move onto other mundane things like doors and beds and her bike. She needs to see those words on the items, to engage her mind and get her ready to mentally file away sight words (words we learn to take in mentally in one chunk, rather than sounding them out).

So, that’s my current project. Wish me luck as I turn the entire house into one big kindergarten classroom.

Some examples:

I Need Comfort Food

For two months now I have been in and out of doctors’ offices trying to get someone to diagnose my daughter’s skin issues. We were told it was nodular eczema by the first dermatologist and her pediatrician agreed. That same dermatologist saw her two more times, increasing the strength of the steroid creams she prescribed.

Things did not get better.

She finally sent us to one of her colleges who immediately said it was scabies. So, my poor kid has had multiple scabies treatments and while her skin continued to get worse, the medications and steroids caused her to break out in massive blood blisters.

She has been miserable. I have been perpetually worried and her itching has kept us up most nights.

Today I finally got desperate. I was unwilling to wait for the follow up visit with the second dermatologist, so my pediatrician got us in with the lead guy at the same dermatology practice we had been using.

He told us that without a doubt it is psoriasis and she has been misdiagnosed in the past. Many of the medications she has taken have only served to make her psoriasis worse.

So, now we are on yet another medical regimen. This one could come with some very serious side effects.

After today’s back-to-back doctor visits, the skin biopsy they did, the procedure to drain her blood blisters and assorted other horrific things, I took my daughter to the store and let her choose a new baby doll.

I just wanted comfort food. So, I just ate home made macaroni and cheese with apple-maple chicken sausages.

Now, if we can just see this skin thing get better before she starts kindergarten.

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