For me, summer vacation is over. My ex husband and I each have two -2-week blocks of time during the summer with our daughter. I took my first block in West Virginia and Washington, DC to visit my dad. My second block comes to an end this after this weekend and we stayed near home.

Ideally, I would have planned a trip to Atlanta to see my daughter’s godparents, but the cost of gas and airlines tickets kept me away. I can always try and plan it around the next school break.

Kindergarten looms near. My daughter’s time in Pre-K was not as difficult for me, because I only had her in three hours a day, even though for part of the year I opted to leave her an additional three hours. Nonetheless, now she is starting in the public school system and I got her into one of the Fundamental schools here in the county. She is fortunate to have been accepted into the program. The Fundamental schools here historically perform higher on all standardized tests; they have 100% parent participation, a stricter dress/attendance/behavior policy; and automatic filtering into the Fundamental middle schools. This should be very good for my daughter.

In these next two weeks, I am going to do my best to try and obtain a teaching position. Unfortunately, all of the districts around here are cutting back on teachers. They have tighter budgets and fewer students. People are moving away from this area, due to the cost of living.

It’s over. My time with my little girl will forever be different now that she is in school and I will hopefully be working. No more stay at home mommy.

I wanted to have two children, but my marriage ended when my daughter was only two, so my plans were cut short. However, I have friends all around me who are still having babies and I am enjoying all the fun stuff right along with them. Yesterday, I went shopping for strollers and bassinettes with my friend Claire. She is due with her third child in September, but it is her first girl so she is re-buying a lot of her baby items in pink. How fun is that?

I saved bags and crates and bins of my daughter’s clothing, assuming I was going to have another girl. I gave away 5x what I kept and I still have hundreds and hundreds of pieces. I was a shopping fool when my daughter was little and so were most of my relatives. She was one well-dressed tot. Anyway, Claire and I have been going through all of my bins so she can pick some of the clothes for her daughter.
I may as well have fun with Clairs’s upcoming little girl, because there is nothing in the world like a newborn girl.

I went last night with a friend to see the Batman Dark Knight movie. I will skip over the basic synopsis, since you can find that almost everywhere. I will not dwell on the fact that Heath Ledger’s role at the Joker was indeed brilliant, as most critics are exclaiming (though I have to stop and wonder if it would be deemed Oscar-worthy if he were alive right now).

What I was to focus on is what seems to be an ongoing debate about whether this film is suitable for children.

There was an article on one of CNN’s blogs where author Audrey Irvine put forth her opinion that the film is not OK for young children. She complained that the theater was full of children that were talking throughout the movie, babies who cried, and the ongoing chatter of kids asking their parents questions about a film that was decidedly too sophisticated for a younger mind.

Readers basically blasted Irvine, reminding her that the film was rated PG-13, which means that any child under the age of 13 may attend with a parent. What those same readers overlooked is that Irvine was focused on the distraction the children caused in the theater. She reminded parents that a movie like Dark Knight is not appropriate for dropping off your pre-teens and that other moviegoers aren’t here to babysit your kids.

I agree with Irvine. The theater was packed shoulder to shoulder. Everyone was there after purchasing an expensive ticket, standing in line just to ensure a decent seat, and filled with anticipation over seeing the second film in the newest Batman franchise. Nobody was there to listen to a baby crying who should have been home in bed.

I understand the dilemma of the new parent. My daughter was an infant once, too. However, if I could not find a sitter, we just did not go out. That is one of the sacrificed you make as a parent. There is an entire season’s worth of films I missed.

I want to add to that, though. I do not even think it was just about children being a disruption in the movie theater. I think Dark Knight is way too complicated for kids under 13. And, although this is not necessarily a gory film, when Harvey Dent becomes Two Face, the imagery is startlingly realistic and in no appropriate for a young child.

Even a young teen may not be able to fully grasp the motivation of the Joker and Two Face. This film packs so much information into two-and-a-half hours that my head was nearly spinning. You have to do some thinking to keep up with the action. I would never have taken my 5-year-old to this movie. I would not have taken my 6-year-old nephew, either – even though he loves the super heroes. Dark Knight is just not a family film. My daughter was with her dad last night, so I got a rare evening out.

There is a LOT of violence. There are deaths of main characters, emotional scenes with children being held hostage, lovers having to say goodbye before one dies, and the very troubling mental state of the Joker. The themes are just too mature for children. You have to look PAST whether or not a film has fore or sex of language. Children can still be harrowed by things other than the obvious. Our children are only hours for a short time and it is our job to protect them and retain their innocence. It is unwise to expose them to some of the films many parents allow their children to watch.

To answer my initial question – is the firm Dark Knight suitable for children? – I would have to adamantly say that if your child is under the age of 13, keep them at home.

I’m not talking about the kind of compulsive labeling some people do in their kitchens. I don’t do that. I label files for my filing cabinet. I label the plastic storage bins out in the garage. Unfortunately, I did not label about 10 years worth of VHS tapes. That’s a mess to talk about some other time. You see, I’m not much of a label person.

However, my daughter is beginning kindergarten this fall! I can hardly believe it. She learned a lot in pre-kindergarten (a Florida thing) and she is ready to read. I know that some kids can read by her age. In fact, I was reading by her age. She just hasn’t been ready yet.

So, these two weeks that she is at her dad’s house for his summer block of time with her, I am labeling everything. I started with labeling the dresser drawers with the word for what goes in each drawer (shirts, pants, socks, etc.) and beside it I put a picture of the item. So, she has the word, a picture and the actual items.

I’ll move onto other mundane things like doors and beds and her bike. She needs to see those words on the items, to engage her mind and get her ready to mentally file away sight words (words we learn to take in mentally in one chunk, rather than sounding them out).

So, that’s my current project. Wish me luck as I turn the entire house into one big kindergarten classroom.

Some examples:

For two months now I have been in and out of doctors’ offices trying to get someone to diagnose my daughter’s skin issues. We were told it was nodular eczema by the first dermatologist and her pediatrician agreed. That same dermatologist saw her two more times, increasing the strength of the steroid creams she prescribed.

Things did not get better.

She finally sent us to one of her colleges who immediately said it was scabies. So, my poor kid has had multiple scabies treatments and while her skin continued to get worse, the medications and steroids caused her to break out in massive blood blisters.

She has been miserable. I have been perpetually worried and her itching has kept us up most nights.

Today I finally got desperate. I was unwilling to wait for the follow up visit with the second dermatologist, so my pediatrician got us in with the lead guy at the same dermatology practice we had been using.

He told us that without a doubt it is psoriasis and she has been misdiagnosed in the past. Many of the medications she has taken have only served to make her psoriasis worse.

So, now we are on yet another medical regimen. This one could come with some very serious side effects.

After today’s back-to-back doctor visits, the skin biopsy they did, the procedure to drain her blood blisters and assorted other horrific things, I took my daughter to the store and let her choose a new baby doll.

I just wanted comfort food. So, I just ate home made macaroni and cheese with apple-maple chicken sausages.

Now, if we can just see this skin thing get better before she starts kindergarten.

My daughter and I love to wear Halloween costumes all year long. It started when I realized I could buy all sorts of costumes after Halloween that were marked down. I only bought for my daughter that first year. She loved and it and would wear a princess costume or angel wings or even a unicorn costume most days when she got home from her school program.

The, she started wanting me to wear tiaras or wings as well. I wanted to have full costumes of my own and at that point I hunted some don in my own size. I call them Halloween costumes, but to us it’s just all about dress up and play-time. We are just two girls who like to put on a character and have fun. I know, I’m not a child anymore, but playing with my daughter makes me feel young again.

Gigi’s favorites are still the Disney costumes. She has tens upon tens of other costumes or dress up pieces, but keeps coming back to the gowns made for Cinderella, Belle, Sleeping Beauty and Gisele. In fact, we just came back from vacation and I unpacked and hand washed her Belle costume this afternoon, because we had taken it with us and she wore it at least four times.

The Halloween Adventure website has tons of costumes, and I mean tons. They probably have the largest selection of plus size costumes I have ever seen. They’ve got well over 50 pages, while most other sites will throw in a token 4 or 5 plus sized costume choices. They have a cool Fiona costume (from Shrek) that my daughter saw me looking at and wants me to order, so we can both dress as Fiona. Gigi already has a Fiona costume. I’m more drawn to some of the Greek goddess costumes, but the whole point is for me to have costumes to play with my daughter in, so I suppose she needs to have some say in what I order, huh?

I miss having a partner to parent my daughter with, to tell the truth. Discipline is easier, there more of a balance. You get the breaks you need and have more opportunities to walk away if you are feeling taxed in a stressful situation.

On the other hand, parenting solo means no conflicts in deciding parenting policies. It mans a lot more one-on-one time with my kid, and it means when she is wither dad I get to spend a day or two alone on projects that can be difficult if you have your child right there with you. I miss my daughter tremendously, I cannot deny that. However, I have to make the most out of a bad situation. A situation I did not choose.

Of course, there is still a lot of input on her father’s part. He commented yesterday on a facility he heard had the best medical diagnostics in the region. He pointed out it is on my daughter’s insurance network. I’ll keep it mind and assume he is sincere, since he has his daughter’s best interest in mind (Even though she tends to come third as far as his time commitments go, right after himself and his older, childless, attention-seeking new wife).

This is my life, though, and no matter if I remarry, I will still be essentially parenting my daughter alone. I cannot expect a new spouse to have the same sort of authority over my daughter as her own father has, not can I expect him to have the sort of bond her read dad has. Unlike my ex, I respect the roles of the mother and father and teach my daughter she will always have one, and only one, mother and father.

I had this book when I was a kid called The Friendly Alligator. It was one of those personalized books where my parents sent in the order form along with my name, address, birth date, names of my friends, some of my hobbies the name of my school, etc. and the book was printed to include all of this personal information about me written right into the storyline.

I loved that book. I still love that book. Despite the fact that I grew up with hundreds and hundreds of children’s books, this may be the only book I kept from my childhood.

When my daughter was born, I was anxious to get her at least one personalized book, too. I actually ordered her a version of the Little Mermaid from the Kids Personally website, based more on the original Hans Christian Andersen version of the story than the glittery Disney version. She adores the fact her anme is in the book, as are the names of her cousin and her best friend. The book names our hometown and all sorts of other personal details. She is as thrilled with the book I ordered her as I was with mine. Of course, I still read her MY Friendly Alligator book, too. She loves to see her mom’s name in a story.

My dad is pretty great. I’ll bet most of you would say the same thing about your own dad’s.

When I was little, I gave my dad things for Father’s Day like cards made out of construction paper, glitter, and old buttons. I made him an ashtray (he does not smoke) and a pencil holder out of lumpy, uneven clay one year. He kept them on his desk until he retired and even to this day they sit by his computer at home. Oh, and a rock painted to look like a strawberry. I was particularly proud of that little bit of artwork.

My dad is older now. And, so am I. I’ve moved to more sophisticated Father’s Day gifts. Last year I bought him a massive gift certificate to his favorite local steak restaurant. The year before that, I got him a GPS.

This year, I have a couple of things in mind, but by far the best would be if I could win the Charter Communications Father’s Day contest and give him Father’s Day in HD. My dad has used Charter for years and so I thought this would be perfect. Check out the list of goodies the grand prize winner gets:

• 65″ LCD HDTV Flat Panel 1080p
• FREE Charter HD service for life
• The Charter Bundle for life

There will also be four finalists and they will each get Charter’s Biggest Bundle, FREE for a year. And that bundle I’ve mentioned includes Digital Cable TV, Digital Phone, and High Speed Internet. Very cool.

Your dad needs to live in a Charter serviceable area for you to enter the contest. All you do is enter your e-mail address, your dad’s email address, and then write an answering the question: “Why does your dad deserves the nation’s biggest HDTV?” Hurry, though, you have to enter by June 8.

I stopped by the Salvation Army thrift store quickly yesterday afternoon. I am looking for a used pair of ballet slippers for my daughter that she can wear for ballet camp this summer. I did not find the ballet slippers, but I got a super cool pair of black Chucks that should fit her soon. I have them out in the washer now.

However, that was not what I wanted to write about. I was coming back to the car and the couple that was getting into the car next to me was having a very sad conversation. The man was telling his wife/girlfriend/buddy that his cousin was apparently addicted to crack. He was shocked and hurt, because nobody in his family saw it coming; the cousin has a family and a pretty good job. He and his relatives are feeling devastated.

The reason I overheard so much of the conversation is that I was walking behind them out of the store and into the parking lot, by the way.

So, this guy goes on to tell the girl that another of his cousins just got out of alcohol rehab and so now the parents, this guy’s aunt and uncle, are going through a time when they feel like they have failed in raising their kids. This, despite the fact that they apparently live in a wealthy neighborhood in Miami and had everything they needed as they were growing up. Both went to college and were seemingly productive parts of society.

That’s all I heard, but as I drove home I pondered the emotions this family must be feeling. And, I was glad they were feeling them at all. I know all too many families that are so splintered that the family members might not even find out or care if one of them was struggling with addiction. If this family is close, caring, and willing to be involved there is a lot of success in the future for these cousins.

I have tears in my eyes. I have had tears in my eyes several times since the earthquakes in China hit. The world has been watching this tragedy and mourned along with the people of China.

The tears I am shedding now are from happiness, pride, and soft-heartedness, though. The story of policewoman Jiang Xiaojuan is just amazing.

She is the mother of a 6-month-old son, who she breastfeeds. After the quake, she took it upon herself to breastfeed some of the orphaned infants. At one point she was feeding nine babies.

She modestly chalks it up to a mother’s instinct and her duty as a police officer. She is actually embarrassed by all of the worldwide attention she is getting and says, “This was a small thing, not worth mentioning.”

I love this woman. I nursed my own daughter for an extended amount of time and I understand the emotional side of the process. I can see how it felt very natural for her to step and in and help the motherless babies. Her body also probably stepped up to the task, naturally producing enough supply. Still, she does deserve recognition. She is selfless and loving and it our modern world this is rare.

My mother was meticulous about Thank You notes when I was a child. My sister and I would sit down after each birthday or Christmas and write out thoughtful, police, meaningful notes to thank each person for each gift we received. That continued through my high school and college graduations.

My mother had a lot of tips she passed along to my sister and I:
1. Personalize each Thank You note. Mention the gift and the giver and why you loved the gift in question.
2. Send the Thank You note within a week of receiving the gift.
3. Even if the given is local, mail the note. People love to get letters in the mail. This especially holds true in a day and age where e-mail is the norm.
4. Be as sincere as possible.

Somehow, I lost it by the time my wedding rolled around. I made it though a dozen or so Thank You cards and then just never finished. I sometimes wondered if that was a harbinger of the bad things to come in my marriage. Who knows?

I have not been good at all in teaching my own daughter about think you notes. Of course, she cannot write very well yet, but I could still be sitting down with her and writing them out in dictation form so she can sign them. It’s one of those lessons that only a mother can really teach and I will admit that up until now I have been sorely lacking in that department. It is something I vow to change by Christmas.

My goal is to have Thank You notes on hand and ready to personalize. In fact, I can even order them with the return address pre-printed to save time. Cards Direct even has the option to have the cards printed with a personalized line inside. I could have them printed with our names and then Gigi and I could simply add a personal note about the gift.

Educate your children! Please, I’m begging you. In a society overly obsessed with Harry Potter and magic, can’t people find the time to help teach their children the difference between people who are illusionists and those who are working in witchcraft and “wizardry”?

Seriously. I am ranting about a completely serious topic.

In Pasco County, Florida, substitute teacher Jim Piculas received a letter from the Pasco County School District telling him they would “no longer be using your services.”

Several issues were outlined in the letter, most of which are understandable to a point. You have to understand that a substitute teacher, no matter how skilled, cannot pick up a lesson plan the same way the regular teacher can, but that is beside the point. The letter cited not following the lesson plans, allowing students on computers when another teacher said not to, and telling a fifth-period student peer that she was in charge.

But, let’s not dwell on those issues right now. I am sure they are typical complaints.

What I want to talk about is the parent who called the school saying his son was traumatized by an illusion Piculas briefly performed for the students in class. Piculas showed the kids a disappearing-toothpick trick using a toothpick and transparent tape. The trick uses sleight-of-hand to make the toothpick look like it disappears and reappears. In actuality, it is only hiding behind the performer’s thumb and held in place by the tape.

Piculas showed the students the trick, they liked it, and he went on to explain to them how they could perform it themselves.

According to Piculas, he was told by an administrator, “You’ve been accused of wizardry.”

Unfortunately, this could have a dire impact on Piculas’ career. He has worked as a substitute for about nine months, but has also been working toward his teacher certification.

I cannot help but roll my eyes. I can see the other infractions as possible valid to be addressed, but witchcraft, black magic, wizardry and the like? Seriously? Perhaps Florida needs to revamp the Sunshine State Standards to include a section on being able to discern reality from fantasy.

And in light of the fact that the districts all around the Bay Area have been inundated with teachers who are sexually abusing students, crying out for drug rehab, and generally making a mockery out of the profession – this just seems like such a ridiculous accusation.

Speaking of heirlooms, I was going through some of the jewelry that my late step-father gave to me before he died and I found his pocket watch. It had been handed down for generations. On the front there is a train engine.

My daughter was only 7-months-old when my step-dad died, so she really never knew him. My nephew, on the other hand, was very close to his “Pap Pap” and they used to spend hours putting together the train sets my step-dad collected.

So, I felt like it would be very special to set aside the pocket watch for my nephew. His birthday is not until August, so I have time to have it cleaned and tuned up so that it is in top shape – although it still keep amazing time.

You know, I feel like some of the most special gifts are not new items, but heirlooms that are passed down from generation to generation, full of stories and rich is history.

My daughter is only five, but she already tries to emulate everything I do – the good and the bad. It keeps me honest! I want to be the very best role model for my precious little girl.

Gigi is enamored of my clothes, my shoes, and my make-up. She can spend an hour sitting quietly on her bed with my jewelry box, going through all of the jewelry I have collected over the years. Her eyes sparkle when she asks if one day all of that jewelry will one day belong to her.

Choosing an heirloom to pass down for generations can be as simple as a perfect string of pearls. I got my princess length, white freshwater pearls from Pearl Paradise. I was stunned by the quality and the luminous, simple elegance of the strands. Plus, their prices are surprisingly low.