I play Baldur’s Gate 3 a lot, and I’ve kept a running list of the funniest, weirdest items I’ve found. I write from experience: some of these are in the base game, some are easter eggs or community mods (check your version). As of June 1, 2025, the game’s core release was August 3, 2023, and Larian still adds seasonal events and community-driven content that keeps the oddities coming.
🎭 The outright ridiculous
The Clown’s Severed Hand is equal parts gross and hilarious. You can equip it as an improvised weapon, and it sounds like a slap when you hit someone. I’ve noticed players keep it for the comedy, not the stats. Why? Because a game that takes itself too seriously needs a moment like this.
The Reverse Rain Cloak promises dryness — except it only works indoors or underground. It’s basically a joke on design quirks (that one bug from early builds inspired it). People wear it during big fights just for the irony. Honestly, it’s priceless when someone equips it during a storm scene!
🧙♂️ Cursed stuff that makes you laugh
The Whispering Mask forces pun-filled dialogue. Your party groans; you get laughs. I’ll admit: I left it on just to rile up companions (we found it ruined a negotiation once). The curse is mostly social damage, not lethal.
Bane’s Underwear of Eternal Torment can’t be removed once you wear it (yes, really). No stats, lots of chafing jokes in cutscenes. It undercuts drama in a way I love and sometimes hate — depends on your mood and your party’s approval ratings.
| Item | Effect | How to remove / note |
|---|---|---|
| Whispering Mask | Pun-only dialogue | Cast Remove Curse or keep the jokes |
| Bane’s Underwear | Cannot be unequipped | Specific NPC in Act 3 can help (or mods) |
| Boots of Blasting | Explode when you dash | Don’t dash — try not to dash |
🔪 Weapons that make you snort
The Salami of Striking +1 is a real example of Larian’s sense of humor: a food item that’s mechanically a weapon. Kill an enemy with it and there’s a small chance of extra food drops. It’s as absurd as it sounds.
The Cheese Wheel of Doom scales with Strength and becomes surprisingly good in the right hands (a raging Barbarian will turn dairy into devastation). It’s like hitting someone with a comedic anvil — physics, chaos, a squeal of delight.
// Cheese Wheel damage
Base: 1d4 + STR
If Barbarian Rage: +2
If unlucky target: x2 (flavor text dependent)
Crit: "That’s what I call a GOUDA hit!"
🐸 Potions and consumables that derail scenes
Potion of Speak with Animals only lets you understand animals; they still don’t get you. Surprise conversations ensue. I laughed when a squirrel judged my build choices — honestly, the animals are savage critics.
Elixir of Inappropriate Timing gives advantage for 10 turns but forces loud, ill-timed announcements (bathroom shouts at stealth moments). This doesn’t always work in story-heavy quests — there are exceptions — but it ruins romances spectacularly sometimes. Use with care!
💀 Useless gear you’ll collect anyway
The Ring of Being Really Invisible makes you invisible only to yourself. Everyone else sees you fine. Navigation becomes a mess; it’s amusing and maddening at once.
The Helmet of Grunting swaps your voiced lines for grunts while still granting +1 AC. Dramatic scenes become accidental comedy. Your companions don’t change tone — that mismatch is gold.
- 🎩 Hat of Vermin Summoning (summons dead rats)
- 🥾 Boots of Speed (feel faster, move slower)
- 🧤 Gloves of Missile Attraction (projectiles love you)
- 👁️ Amulet of Greater Blindness (timed for worst moments)
- 🛡️ Shield of Balding (slow hair loss)
“Collecting the useless stuff is like keeping odd buttons from old coats — sentimental and embarrassingly practical sometimes.”
Here’s the funny part: these items don’t help you beat the Absolute, but they make the trip through Faerûn stick in your head. I’ve noticed completionists hunt them like trophies; other players stash them for multiplayer chaos. Counterintuitively, quirky loot often keeps people playing longer than raw power creep does. Seriously.
Two things I’ll be blunt about: some items are strictly community-made and won’t appear in a clean install; and, to be controversial, I think a few of the developer jokes cross into lazy humor — not everyone agrees with me on that! (You’ll probably disagree.)
Want the full list? Ask me which category you want first — weapons, curses, or consumables — and I’ll give you pin-point locations, tips on how to keep them, and why you might actually prefer a cursed thong over a legendary sword. Curious?
Small caveat: mechanics and locations can change with updates (check your patch notes). Also, some of these descriptions stumble a bit because a few items behave differently across platforms — PC, console, and mods diverge. But honestly, that’s part of the charm.
