Pondering Motherhood
It’s been a rough couple of weeks. My daughter was sick for abut a week and then she faithfully passed her illness along to me. Of course, said illness mutated when it hit my system and was worse even than when my daughter had it. A stiff round of antibiotics for both of us seems to be clearing it up enough to go on with life. However, I worked myself through the illness all week and finally had to admit defeat yesterday at about 10:30 am. Gratefully, where I work that means half my day is already over, so I only had to take half a day’s sick leave. Being a mom means saving sick days to be home when my daughter is sick. I have to strike a balance.
I’ve been seeing messages for the last couple of days on Facebook from several of my friends about the death of someone I knew long ago. Back when I lived in Maryland, there was a family at my church who I spent a lot of time with. I babysat for the younger three of their four children often, helped them out around the house, and in return had a comfortable place to call home when I was weary of apartment living. Their youngest passed away this week at age 17.
I ache when I think about losing my own daughter. She is my heart. I do not think having four children takes even an ounce of the pain way for this family. One child, four children – losing your child is probably the hardest thing anyone has to go through. I know my divorce was emotionally the hardest thing I have encountered so far, but if something were to happen to my daughter it would be far worse.
Motherhood is indeed the most amazing thing to have ever happened to me. It bring out of me the best, and the worst. I am taught new lessons daily – by my daughter and by the world around me. I am forever learning, and rewarded over and over with boundless love. I did nothing to deserve my daughter’s love, except give birth to her. It’s so simple that it makes me cry some days.
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